“Bryan’s dad killed himself.” I was 17 and Bryan was a high school classmate. By all accounts, Bryan’s dad had been happy until… he was laid off.
In the 1980s, not having a job was stigmatizing for all men but particularly middle-aged men supporting families. I don’t know the circumstances of his layoff. But he was unemployed for 9 months, I almost can’t believe it wasn’t longer. He sank into a depression and couldn’t pull himself out of it.
Today, being laid off has lost its stigma but that story has stuck with me as I’ve worked with a few people are who are struggling with mental health issues and career issues.
Despite the recent healthy sense that “work isn’t everything”, work is “something” and that something is beyond doing activities to pay the bills. Work consists of a lot of life. For many – perhaps too many – it makes up a part or large of their identity. My sense is that their mental health issues would be alleviated (not cured) if they had happier work.
In some of my recent Career Counseling Connecticut meetings with men in this situation, I see many who mask their anxiety with dark humor – “my family would be better off if they get my life insurance”- seems to be the most common line. The worry today for most forty and fiftysomethings is that they will never get hired again. Sadly, they may be right if they have limited themselves to getting hired only for high paying salaried full time jobs with benefits. But there is plenty of work out there and with the right understanding of the market, they will work again as many of my career counseling clients have happily discovered.
If you know anyone who might be prone to depression due to a work lay off, pay careful attention. Get them the help they need.