It just is.
That’s a really unsatisfying answer. But – idealist that I am – I can’t deny human nature.
We all make judgments based on “shorthand.” Some part of that shorthand is based on what someone does for work.
“What do you do?” That may be the most common “get to know you” question.
If you identify with your work – “I AM a…..” then you like the question.
If you don’t, then the question is deflating. You may feel the need to explain that your work does not define you or that you don’t really like what you do or that your work is too boring to discuss.
There is also a natural protest: I am not defined by my work.
Of course, you are not and those who know you understand this point fully.
One of my close friends is a lawyer. While “lawyer” is still a prestige profession, he hates telling people and deflects when possible. He is a musician/artistic type at heart. That’s his real identity. But when someone hears “lawyer”, he knows it conjures up adjectives – many bad ones!!! – but also some good ones. Regardless, he’s the furthest thing from the negative caricatures of lawyers and he could care a less about the positive assumptions (that he’s successful/affluent etc.). He is the dating world now and dislikes having to answer the “what do you do” question almost immediately.
Others who come to Career Counseling Connecticut have it worse. They not only do not like whatever it is they do but also know they are being judged based on the perception that what they do does not provide high status.
While I think the Great Resignation and other pandemic movements that lowered career conflation with identity are a good thing, I also know that we cannot deny human nature. Since the dawn of civilization, people have made judgments about each other based on “what do you do?”
We can help you find work that makes you delight in answer that question.