“Nobody Tells Me Anything”
A mother from Norwalk reached out to us after a Sunday-night phone call with her son that left her uneasy. Devon was 25, nine months into his first job at a technology company, working mostly from home three days a week. He was smart, conscientious, and by his own account, invisible. “I send my work in, and nothing comes back,” he told her. “I don’t know if I’m doing great or about to get fired.”
His mother wanted to help but also knew that calling his manager was out of the question. “He’d never forgive me,” she said. She wondered whether to encourage him to look for a new job.
In our first session, Devon described a work life that was mostly silent. His manager, who led a team of eleven, communicated through brief messages and a weekly status meeting. Devon had no regular one-on-one, no mentor and no sense of how his work was perceived. He had begun to wonder whether he was in the wrong field.
We asked a diagnostic question: “If your manager were describing your work to someone else, what would you want them to say?” Devon could not answer. He realized he had never asked what success looked like in his role.
We helped him do four things. He asked his manager for a recurring 20-minute one-on-one every two weeks, using a short, specific message. He prepared three questions for the first meeting, including “What is one thing I could do differently that would make the biggest impact?” He identified two people outside his team whose work he admired and asked each for a 15-minute conversation. And he began a simple weekly log of what he had accomplished.
The first one-on-one was uncomfortable, and also illuminating. His manager said, “I thought you were doing fine, so I didn’t want to bother you. But honestly, I haven’t been sure how much you want to take on.” Within three months Devon was leading a small project, had a mentor from the product team, and had a clear picture of what the next level required. His mother said, “He sounds like he works there now. Before, he sounded like he was visiting.”
Devon’s story is typical of what we see. Early-career struggles are rarely about ability. They are about learning the unwritten rules, and a lot of the rules involve people.
Why So Many Young Professionals Feel Unseen
There is data behind the feeling. Gallup’s research shows that U.S. employee engagement has not recovered from its 2020 peak, and that the biggest declines are among younger workers. According to coverage of the same research, engagement among Generation Z and younger millennials fell eight points between 2020 and 2025, and these workers were 13 points less likely to strongly agree that their supervisor or someone at work seems to care about them as a person. Gallup’s analysis also pointed to declines in feeling cared about and in opportunities to learn and grow.
There are plausible reasons. Remote and hybrid work reduces the casual interactions through which mentorship used to happen. Managers are stretched thin. And many young professionals entered the workforce during a period when the economy was uncertain, and so are reluctant to rock the boat. None of this is anyone’s fault, but it means that young professionals need to be more intentional about building the relationships that previous generations picked up by osmosis.
Skill One: Managing Your Manager
The relationship with your direct manager shapes most of your early-career experience. Managing up is not manipulation. It is making it easy for your manager to help you succeed.
Ask for a regular one-on-one. Even 20 minutes every two weeks changes the dynamic. Send a simple request: “Would it be possible to set up a recurring 20-minute check-in so I can make sure I’m focused on the right priorities?”
Ask about priorities and success. Early on, ask, “What would a great first six months look like in this role?” Then write down the answer and refer to it later.
Ask for specific feedback. “How am I doing?” invites “Fine.” Try instead: “What is one thing I could do differently next month that would make the biggest difference?” or “Is there anything you have noticed that I should change?”
Communicate before problems grow. If you are stuck, say so early, with a proposed solution. If you will miss a deadline, say so as soon as you know.
Learn your manager’s style. Some managers want daily updates; others want brevity. Ask. Adapting to a manager’s preferences is one of the quickest ways to earn trust.
Skill Two: Finding and Using Mentors
A mentor is someone more experienced who gives you perspective, honest feedback and sometimes access. You do not need a formal arrangement, and you probably need more than one.
Look for two or three people with different strengths. One might be a senior colleague in your department. Another might be someone in a different function. A third might be outside your company, such as an alumnus of your college or a professional you met at a local event.
Start with a small ask. A request for a 15-minute conversation is easy to say yes to. Something like: “I admire the way you handled [specific thing]. I’d love to hear how you learned that, if you have 15 minutes.”
Come prepared. Bring two or three specific questions and respect their time.
Follow up. Send a thank-you note and, a few weeks later, a short update on what you did with their advice. This is the single most effective way to turn one conversation into a relationship.
Give back. Offer to help with something, share an article or make an introduction. Mentorship works best when it is mutual.
Connecticut’s compact geography helps. Professionals along the shoreline, in New Haven, in Fairfield County and in the Hartford area often know one another, and an introduction in Milford can lead to a conversation in Stamford.
Skill Three: Keeping a Record of Your Work
One of the most useful habits we teach young professionals is a weekly accomplishment log. Every Friday, write down three things you did, what resulted, and one thing you learned. The entries take five minutes. Over months, they become the foundation for performance reviews, raise conversations, résumé updates and interview stories.
Instead of “Helped with the Q3 report,” write “Built the data tables for the Q3 report, which cut the team’s review time by two days.” Numbers help, but even without them, specifics matter.
Skill Four: Asking for a Raise or Promotion
Many young professionals avoid asking for more because it feels awkward, or because they assume that good work will be noticed. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it is not. A prepared, professional request gives you the best chance.
- Time it well. The best moments are after a major success, during a planning cycle or at a performance review.
- Build your case. Use your accomplishment log to show specific contributions, ideally with measurable results.
- Research the market. Look at salary ranges for your role, level and location. Salary surveys, professional associations and conversations with peers can all help.
- Make a clear request. “I would like to discuss moving to the next level and a salary adjustment to $X” is better than vague hints.
- Listen and ask about the path. If the answer is not yet, ask what it would take to earn a yes, and when you can revisit it. Ask for the criteria in writing if possible.
We are career counselors, not financial advisors, and individual situations vary. For personalized financial guidance, consult a qualified professional.
Case Study: Finding Direction in a Quiet Role in Milford
Hannah, 27, lived in Milford and worked in operations at a mid-size company in the area. She was dependable and rarely complained, which, she later realized, was part of the problem. Her father, who had watched her carry extra work for two years, told us, “She’s the one everyone relies on and no one promotes.”
Hannah’s fear was that asking for more would seem ungrateful. We helped her reframe the conversation. She created a one-page summary of her contributions, including a process change that had cut customer response time and a training guide she had written for new hires. She researched pay for similar roles in Connecticut. She asked her manager for a meeting about her growth, presented her summary, and requested a promotion and a salary adjustment. Her manager said she needed to bring it to leadership, and told Hannah she had been wondering why Hannah had never asked.
Two months later, Hannah was promoted and received a raise. She also gained a clear understanding of what the next step required. Her takeaway: “Being good isn’t enough. People have to know what you’re doing.”
When the Problem Is the Manager, Not You
Sometimes the difficulty is not a lack of skill but a poor manager. Warning signs include chronic unavailability, unclear or shifting expectations, blame, or an unwillingness to give feedback. Before concluding that the situation is hopeless, try the techniques above: a regular check-in, specific questions and written follow-ups after conversations. If those do not help, consider options such as seeking mentorship elsewhere in the organization, requesting a transfer, or planning a move.
If a situation involves harassment, discrimination or safety concerns, those are serious matters that deserve attention from human resources or an attorney, and we encourage you to seek appropriate help promptly.
Hybrid and Remote Work: Making Yourself Visible
If you work remotely or in a hybrid arrangement, visibility takes deliberate effort.
- Over-communicate progress, briefly and clearly, in the channels your team uses.
- Show up in person when it counts, such as on days when your team gathers.
- Turn on your camera for meetings when appropriate and speak up early.
- Schedule virtual coffees with colleagues in other departments.
- Share your wins in a modest, factual way.
How Parents Can Help
Parents of young professionals often want to fix things. A few practices tend to work better.
- Listen before advising. Ask, “Do you want ideas, or do you want me to listen?”
- Share your network, not your agenda. An introduction can help, and your child can decide what to do with it.
- Normalize difficulty. Many successful careers began with a bumpy first job.
- Suggest an outside perspective. A coach can say things that parents cannot.
Daryl Capuano, who leads Career Counseling Connecticut, wrote The Parents’ Guide to Career Planning for Your Twentysomething for exactly this situation.
Early-Career Counseling Across Connecticut
We work with young professionals and their families across Fairfield County, including Greenwich, Stamford, Norwalk, Westport and Fairfield; New Haven County, including New Haven, Hamden, Branford, Milford, Guilford and Madison; and Middlesex County, including Middletown, Clinton, Westbrook, Old Saybrook and Essex. We also work online with clients across the country.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I get more feedback from my manager?
Ask for a regular one-on-one and use specific questions, such as “What is one thing I could do differently next month that would make the biggest impact?” Specific questions get specific answers.
How do I find a mentor?
Look for two or three people with experience you admire, inside and outside your company. Start with a small request, such as a 15-minute conversation, prepare questions and follow up with thanks and updates.
When is the right time to ask for a raise?
After a significant accomplishment, during a planning cycle or at a performance review. Prepare a specific case using your accomplishment log and market research, and make a clear request.
What if I feel invisible in a remote or hybrid job?
Make your work visible through regular updates, schedule one-on-ones, join meetings actively and build relationships across teams. Visibility in remote settings is deliberate, not automatic.
What if my manager is the problem?
Try regular check-ins, specific questions and written follow-ups. If it does not improve, seek mentors elsewhere, consider internal moves, and plan an exit if needed. Serious issues such as harassment should go to HR or an attorney.
Is there early career counseling near me in Norwalk, Milford or Clinton?
Yes. We work in person across Fairfield, New Haven and Middlesex Counties and online with clients anywhere.
Let’s Make Your Next Move Count
If you are a young professional, or the parent of one, and you want experienced, objective guidance, contact Career Counseling Connecticut to schedule a conversation. We will listen, help you see your situation clearly, and build a plan with realistic next steps.
Sources
- Gallup, “U.S. Employee Engagement Declines From 2020 Peak” (Jim Harter, January 28, 2026): https://www.gallup.com/workplace/701486/employee-engagement-declines-2020-peak.aspx
- HR Dive, “Worker engagement’s downward spiral continues, Gallup finds”: https://www.hrdive.com/news/worker-engagement-downward-spiral-continues-gallup/810736/
Career Counseling Connecticut is viewed as Connecticut’s top private career counseling organization.