Years ago, one of our first career counseling clients met with us. He had everything on paper. He attended Yale University. His grades were excellent. He majored in economics. He had plenty of interviews. This was during boom times on Wall Street. So, he expected to waltz into a high paying job. But, other than perfunctory rejections, he never heard back after dozens of interviews. He saw his friends receive multiple offers. He heard of his friends from less prestigious colleges in Connecticut also receive offers from places where he had interviewed. As he noted, he did not have to be a great detective to know that his interview skills were the issue.
When I spoke with him over the phone to set up a career counseling interview, he came across as a soft-spoken, nice guy. So, he was not hurting himself by being abrasive or obnoxious.
When we met for our career counseling session, he opened the door to our office. The first problem was apparent. He did not make eye contact when he entered. His next problem was that he did not say his name when he was introduced, a common issue among young adults. His handshake was weak and he did not make eye contact when we shook – problems 3 and 4.
He sat down quickly, prior to being motioned to do so and prior to me. At that point, I lost track of the number of non-verbal problems he had as an interviewee.
If you can picture the scene, we were no more than 60 seconds into an interview. He had created a bad first impression. That, in and of itself, would be enough to sink him in interviews at highly competitive institutions.
As the interview went on, there were numerous other non-verbal problem areas. He fidgeted. He would spin a pen in his hand while I spoke. He slouched. His eyes would dart away when we made eye contact.
Fortunately, all of these issues could be corrected and so went through the list one by one until he fully understood what he was doing and how he could correct his interview flaws.
He was amazed that he was so unaware of these issues. In retrospect, he, as other clients have subsequently done, wondered why his family and friends never pointed these things out to him.
I asked rhetorically, “have any of your family members or friends ever interviewed you?”
Of course, not. Like many people, his nervousness was the cause of most of his issues. In social situations, particularly with those he knew well, he did not have these issues. When he was finally comfortable, most of his tics stopped. And, when he was aware of what he should do, he was able to change his interview behavior. He landed a job after his next interview.